Ps. 16- boundary lines

Psalm 16:5 O LORD, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
         You maintain my lot.
 ⁶ The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
         Yes, I have a good inheritance.
NIV says boundary lines

Being in the season of wilderness I've been noticing that the Lord has been hedging me in and keeping me close. (Thank you Jesus!)
The word "boundary" caught my attention. I have limits. I have a boundary line that if I pass over means I won't be in my territory. But the Lord has set my lines in pleasant places. He has put me in a good place, even if I feel "hemmed in" its really good there. And if the Lord is my portion and He maintains my lot, then its beautiful!  In Him is everything, and He is BIG, transcendent, mysterious. The place I'm living in has too be good then.
I was also thinking about the Hebrew word Ch'sed- which means mercy or softening and taking the blow of someone else's stupidity. The picture is a stork with her little storkettes. The baby storks wander into a thorn bush, mama stork walks into the middle of it and plucks out her breast feather and pads the edges of the circle of thorns so that the storkettes don't hurt themselves. (Storks really do this). So there are missing feathers and probably blood on the chest of this stork. Pretty cool huh? The stork didn't take them out of the thornbush, but took her own feathers.

My boundary lines will fall in good places, because the Lord set them. Even when I leave those, we comes after me. Praise God! Ironic though that He always hedges me in using thorns so that I have no where else to go but to Him. God is so great! He is so wanting my affections. And yours!

End of school year

Well, it is the end of my first school year at IHOPU. I'm sad its over, but I still have 3 more years here so I'm really looking forward to that! SO much has happened in one year! Its hard to believe it! I've gone through 2 journals and am on my 3rd now. Looking back at this year, I remember when I first came. I was really looking forward to studying music and also a little apprehensive because I wasn't sure of the quality level of teaching I would recieve. But in my first semester I only had one class-choir. The leadership was more concerned with my heart toward God than my skill on an instrument. I am so thankful they did it that way! I've had so much happen internally to me than I probably realize. I came here knowing only just a little bit about the supernatural and prophesying and "weird/different" things like that. The Lord has been so good to me in showing how much more there is. How fun He is, how practical and involved He is and wants to be in our lives. I've felt that being here has been like living in a different world than I've ever kenown. God LOVES to talk with me all the time! He loves to speak to me in my dreams and give me strategies. He gives words of knowledge for other people to encourage His Bride.  He pours out His Spirit of intercession so that I carry His heart. He gives me such mercy and grace when I feel underserving, when I have had a terrible day He comforts me.  He's shown me that everything isn't always, "Well, that's how it is" and that more than anything He is jealous for my heart and affections, and He LOVES me so much. More than I even know. He really is for me, He really enjoys me.
Oh, I've been learning so much!
This year I affectionally call the "Detox season".  And right now I'm drawn into the wilderness where I'll be pushed, crushed, taken apart, and washed,  loved, spoken to tenderly, and drawn away. He is so good in His tender mercies. They are new every morning.
In the 1st semester my mind was being blown away by God's big plan for humanity and the earth. I found out that from Genesis to Revelation He has carried the theme of His Son all throughout. I remember when I realized that the Lord spoke to me often through my imagination and by giving me pictures. Such a sweet tender feeling. All the times spent in the prayer room of beginning with struggling to sit in a room for 3 1/2 hours to starting to hear Him, then to enjoying being in His presence and communing with the Holy Spirit, and partnering with Him in intercession.
My Father, my Daddy, He is so good! He is so kind. He's taken me up from the miry clay, and set my feet a-dancing! He  has brought joy to me. He has called me. He is my life, the reason I'm living.
I love the Lord!
I'm so thankful to the Lord for being here this year. It is exactly where I have needed to be! He is romancing my soul and singing over me, His banner over me is Love! He is drawing me away to Him, He is strengthening my soul and I'm becoming confident in His love.
This is not only about me, He feel this way about you too!
The Lord has broken into my heart with tenderness. He has given me grace. I'm learning music- what I've longed to do since highschool! I'm increasing in the knowledge of God, and by God's grace learning to let go.
I've so enjoyed being on a worship team for school and singing His word- that has unlocked scripture to my heart unlike anything else. Engaging in intercession has also been a big change in me. I love it and am so thankful!
Blessed be the name of the Lord! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU LORD!

Long Comment....sort of

Well... I don't know what I'd do a long comment on... Right now as I type, from the confines of my house, I peer through the open blinds and see for the first time the neighbor across the street has two children, both girls. Didn't know that. Sadly, I don't know any of my surrounding neighbors. Yes, I am just a renter in this house and am not staying here permanently, but it feels a little odd. But then again, I've never been approached by them. We did borrow his shovel one time (we don't own one), leaving a nice note on his door explaining the new position of his shovel.
In other news, I've been listening to C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity" on audio cd. I love listening to an accent, and it makes me realize that C.S. Lewis is quite sarcastic and witty with his words- unless that is the voice 'actor' or whatever the title would be. I feel like it is quite similar to Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen time-period style, but with less formalities and talk of propriety. But quite similar. Even typing this I am thinking this in an accent, British of sorts. Speaking of British accents have I mentioned some that have thrown me off?  I have come across 2 people who are NOT white with British accents. Indeed these 2 have lived in England for some time. One is a Korean, the second is African American. It is incredibly lovely and excellent to hear them, they are some of my favorite people to listen to, not solely because of their accent, but these guys are SO IN LOVE WITH JESUS and have loads of revelation; definetly friends of the Bridegroom.

Well, I love my house and this community, I am astounded and sooooo thankful to the Lord for where He has put me! To be able to talk everyday about what the Lord showed us this day, and what He has been telling us. His mercies are new every morning. Jesus is soo good!  I am stirred and provoked to go deeper in the Lord all the time by my lovely roommates, and together we run after Him together. My teachers are incredibly helpful in small things such as format of Harp & Bowl, social things in the model and etc. Today in class we talked about the model and how to have the least social traffic.

Cool.. I just heard a song a friend of mine recorded using my guitar. Makes me feel special, but I need to turn the highs down on my guitar a little. But still, my guitar soundsawesome! Thanks Dad for choosing such a good sounding guitar with me! I miss you and playing guitar and piano with you!!!!!! We should write songs together.
I'm setting a goal: this summer I am going to write one song a week! I'M SO EXCITED! Its gonna be great! Lord, make me your songwriter!

This week is GBF week (Global Bridegroom Fast) so classes are cancelled, which gives me a couple hours of free time this week! THANK YOU JESUS!
Well, this seems like a pretty good rant post.
Much love to you!
Get ready, Jesus is coming!
Blessings!
JOY!

Psalm 23 from Jesus' perspective

Some insight into Harp & Bowl model: On  a "Worship with the Word" cycle  the team chooses (beforehand) what portion of scripture to do. For about 2 months we sang Psalm 23. Side note- singing scripture has unlocked my heart like none other. Nothing gets the word in me like singing it.  Matt Candler or someone asked Mike Bickle what he'd tell someone if he was on his deathbed. Mike replied, "Sing scripture". But really, my heart just seems to open up... anyways
Psalm 23.
For most of those months we sang it as it is read, from our perspective to God. But one day my worship team leader dropped the idea to sing it from Jesus' perspective, as Psalm 23 is between Psalm 22 which is definetly what Jesus say/goes through and 24.
It was a totally new concept, everyone was excited... I was a little nervous. The first  time we sang it through I realized how little I had to sing from the perspective of Jesus. I had no language, and I didn't know what to sing. I'd never thought about it like that.   But we did it again and again, and it was soo amazing.
Jesus followed the Lord's leading
it please the Father to crush Him

these are some of the choruses that came out:

• Everything you needed came from the Father's hand, You were leaning, You were trusting
• You said, not my will, but yours be done
• Jesus you were broken for a Bride, Jesus you were broken for our love
• Into your hands I commit my spirit
• For the joy set before you, you endured, you obeyed

Really fun singing and reading that Psalm from another perspective!

Into the Wilderness

Well!! I wrote a song! This is a testimony to God's goodness, because I had thought I had "writers' block" of some sorts since middle school when it came to song writing. Really I had songs pouring from my soul, but  I had believed lies that I couldn't write songs, that theyall were going to be bad etc. I had to push through! But I flung those demons off my pencil by God's goodness and will be writing songs and songs and songs and songs!! Praise God! So here is a rough draft of one song. Too bad you can't here it but here are the lyrics

Into the Wilderness (Song of Solomon Ch. 2 & 3)

In my adultery, in my idolatry, you keep coming after me
You are faithful to me.
My beloved one, You've captured my heart and now
I cannot find you.
You are asking me to move beyond this tree, you said to Me,
"Rise up, my love, and come away"
but I stayed
"The winter is past, the rain is gone, flowers appear on the earth"
But I was afraid of the darkness

Now I'm searching for you x2 the one I love

This is it, valley of decision
Forsake it all to gain You
Or cling to these false comforts
Fleeting and Meaningless
x2

I run into the wilderness
You lead I'll follow
I run into your name
I give it all away to be with You
Oh Jesus, You are everything
I give it all away to be with You
Oh Jesus, You are everything,
you have all I need
I cannot bear to be apart from You
      Come and lead this stubborn lamb
     take me gently by the hand
I long to be with You

bridge
  Do not scorn love, love is the only way
Jesus took the cross, laid down His life for us
Do not scorn love, love is the only way
In this, while still sinners, He proved His love for us

He became a man and walked with us
He's jealous for our love
He went to death and back for us
He's jealous for our love
He's the Bridegroom thats coming for His Bride like the sun
He's jealous for our love.


commentary:
When I wrote this song originally I was going to write a song on Psalm 23. It turned into this after reading a book called Silent songs of worship (ironic I know) by my instructor Dr. Terri L. Terry. Also having taken a class on Song of Solomon played a role too (that was in 1st semester) But I just finished reading a chapter titled, The song of the Wilderness. To lean on Him, to get rid of my own selfish nature I must die in the wilderness. After all we are called to pick up our cross dail. If I want to be a forerunner like John the Baptist then imitating his lifestyle would be a good start He spent loads of time in the wilderness before he started his ministry. Just him and God.  Reading that reminded me of the Shulamite maid when the Beloved invites her to come with him to the mountains to which she replies
Until the day breaks
      And the shadows flee away,       Turn, my beloved,
      And be like a gazelle
      Or a young stag
      Upon the mountains of Bether. (S.O.S. 2:17)
Basically those shadows scare me, you go on without me.  Then in ch. 3 she is so lovesick she looks for him.
I hope you are blessed upon reading this. This expresses my heart towards the Lord in his invitation to come away with him. And boy is He good to me! Upon just saying 'yes' he is overwhelmed with love for me

I love lists! 3 Reasons I love IHOP

If you didn't know this about me, I love lists. I like to organize schedules, and put my brain on paper.

Here are 3 reasons I love IHOP:
1. They are SO in love with Jesus. So snockered! exponentially, going hard after the heart of God.
2. IHOP is teaching me so much about the 3 persons in the trinity, and causing me to fall in love with Jesus because they tell me about Him, and also they direct me to spend time with Him...which causes me to fall in love with Him.
3. The leaders wait on the Holy Spirit, and are obedient to His voice.

Roommate interview-Nikolena & Heidi & Me

Ok, Honestly, I got these questions off the internet. But I thought it would be fun to interview my housemates... well only two of them. Here you are:

Short interview of Myself and a couple of my roomates.  N is for Nikolena, H is for Heidi, and M is for me.

 What do you do for fun when you’re not studying, doing research, or performing community service?
N: Anything where I can use my hands- painting, old-to new stuff, cooking, and dreaming (Dreaming is my favorite thing in the world!) etc.
H: I like to read, paint, or write. And I am developing a new passion for cooking. I like to rest in HIS presence.
M: I am either relaxing, resting, being leisurely, or eating. Also I make a time for me to do the Most important things for that day, and to chip away on big projects.
In what areas do you think you can improve?
N: I really, really need meekness. I need to learn to not revile in return.
H: I need to study the word more. I need to be a better steward of my time, and I need to speak more truth over myself rather than agreeing with lies.
M: I need to improve in many areas... humility, servant heart, but really I just need to spend time with Jesus. I think that's the biggest thing right now. Get to know Jesus.

?  What kind of music do you listen to?
N: Laura Hackett and Misty Edwards make me really tender and sensitive to the Lord.
H: Worship music, anything that worships God.
M: Mostly worship music, and a little culture music also.
?  What is a novel or book that you’ve read for pleasure recently and liked, and why did you like it?
N: Heavenly Man. I may not even be able to give a description why, because I am so dumbfounded... It showed me a clear example of a spirit-lead life.
H: Secrets of the Secret place by Bob Sorge.  I liked it because it helped me grow in intimacy with my beloved, and gave me practical ways to live the life I desire to live. Next book is A.W. Tozer's knowledge of the Holy
M: The most recent would be a book called Micah. I forgot who wrote it but I liked it because it put me in the story of David personally. I feel that after reading that book I can recall David's life and things in it.
?  How would you define life? And what is your position on abortion? What is more important–someone agreeing with you on these issues or someone figuring out their own stance on these issues?
N: Its about agreeing with Jesus.
H: Life prayer- Jesus I plead your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God end abortion and send revival to America.
M: Life is meant to glorify God. Jesus end abortion, definetly agree with Nikki, its about agreeing with Jesus
?  What is your “Top 5 ” list for favorite movies,
N: Pride and Prejudice, Little Woman, Pure Luck, Nacho Libre, and A walk to Remember
H: While you were Sleeping, Ever After,  Musicals
M: Furious Love, Finger of God, LOTR series, Chronicles of Narnia series, ...