Fasting

WOW.... well today particularly fasting is really difficult. I find when I'm fasting a lot of my monsters come out. Lord deliver me! Today started out pretty good, but towards the evening particularly around 4:30, my body physically got tired and boy is my mind crazy! We had a evening service tonight and I found that I couldn't focus, I thought about cooking meals and eating something, and I wanted to see my friends. Needless to say I couldn't focus on the sermon which seemed really good-based on crowd response. I found my heart was really offended also. The Lord's manifest presence was near the side of the wall I was by and people were manifesting, getting hit with joy, and good stuff happening. But man, I wanted nothing to do with it. I really wanted to go home. I really hope the Lord is doing something in me, because I am seeing all the gross stuff come out of me as I am being purified.  Deliver me LORD from EVERYTHING that hinders love! I don't want to be offended when you come! I don't want to be good with you only on my good days! I want to love you with everything I have in all my seasons (Even if they change in one day!)
The Lord has always met me in my fasts though. I fast for multiple reasons this time, but fasting always seems to speed things up with Jesus. Perhaps the Lord is taking care of the offense-removal-process now, so that later I will be solid and standing with Jesus.
I look forward to what the Lord will do. My Spirit is willing, but my flesh is very very weak.  You are my strength, I fast for you anyways.
But fasting is good! You should do it! Its SUPER rewarding, this is just a long comment of how I am feeling RIGHT NOW.
ENCOUNTER, ENCOUNTER, ENCOUNTER!
Reveal Jesus to us, Holy Spirit!
Father God, you are my Father, I love you, I need you.